Question: What is a “vaginanus”? Is it:

a) a sex toy with a vagina at one end and an anus at the other

b) a kind of rare mushroom

c) the cruelest thing you could name your child

If you were a resident in the small Chinese village of Liucunbu, you would have said b). That’s right, when the double-ended monstrosity was unearthed last Sunday by villagers digging for a well, they called their local news station claiming to have discovered an extremely rare mushroom that grows underground.

The investigative report that followed has to be seen to be believed, with reporter Ye Yunfeng stating, “The two sides both have the shapes of mushroom heads. Above, it has something that looks like lips and on the other side, it has a small hole that goes through to the other side.”

After viewers called in and correctly identified the object or what it was – a vaginanus – the news station issued an apology, stating that Ye is “very young and sheltered”. Needless to say, I won’t be accepting any mushroom-based dishes from her any time soon.